explanation. update.

tv on city street

so by now, i should probably explain what i have been doing. with my last entry, i just completed posting the end to my third collection of poetry. the poems are all on here in reverse order i guess, but you can still check them out. perhaps one day, i’ll finally feel the poems and collections truly finished to publish them in book format. the three collections are titled: poetic ethnographypoetic syncretism, and notions: on politics, loss, love, and self. someone asked why i had posted a bunch of old poems, well mostly to get them out there, so theywouldn’t just wither and rot on my computer’s hardware, but i also simply because i can. the internet makes it that easy.

up next, i will be posting stories i’ve written since college usually around the same character or a very similar character, which i usually call, carlos castillo. sometimes the stories make sense as a continuation of each other, butsometimes the character is new and disjointed in ways i’ve never been able to reconcile. the character was developed in my creating writing courses, but grew out of my experiences afterwards.

i started working on the second person voice after returning from living and working abroad. i was substitute teaching, and had a lot of time, usually while everyone else was working. the character remained dark, and perhaps sometimes too dark, but that’s kind of how i like it. i probably wouldn’t write some of these stories today as i’m in a very different place in my life now. there’s a reason why my old blog was titled of the lonely lost dark empty.

carlos castillo has mostly been retired as a character in my stories, but perhaps, i’ll bring him back and continue to write stories with him as a character. i still can’t promise some of the new stories won’t be as dark.

spoiler alert: the author kills off our hero in the first act.

also throughout the collection of stories, i’ll be sprinkling poems, articles, photos, and songs, which may or may not have anything to do with the collection of stories and carlos castillo.

e.e. cummings has always been quite influential in my writing as were Joel Rose, author of Kill the Poor and Kill Kill Faster Faster; Rick Moody, author of Garden State and The Ice Storm; and Chuck Palahniuk, author of Fight Club and Survivor.

hope you all continue for the ride.

yours truly,

po’ E.T.

in chicago back again: notion xi.

notion xi.

what i have seen
and what i think
is way too small
to think much of
anything at all
as dreams are all
memories waiting
in the background
to remember
of the union
before the division
by the state,
so what you think
about that?
merde pure?
that’s what i thought,
merde pure,
we’re all covered
in knee deep.


in chicago back again: notions viii-x.

notion viii.

even if the government says,
identifies and labels us
as new age terrorists
for disagreeing with security and patriot acts.
cause we’re not buying what they’re selling,
hoping for purpose and a point
to all of this.
through i, the poetry, i produce.
won’t get lost under and eclipsed
and the point and the purpose


notion ix.

i miss the way
the ancient way
before being
upon this way,
from the way,
the tao,
each other.


notion x.

where everything
was meant
to be a part
of one another.


in chicago back again: notion vii.

notion vii.

is a new day
to go out
to work and worry
and pray,
or actually find one’s way,
become true self.
the rest of us
will be there waiting
on the other side
where there is no need to hide,
or rush to hurry
even for the turtle,
and masks are removed
to reveal the raccoon’s eyes,
and society for its lies
to free the earth from the chains.
our paranoid egocentric selves
allowed to be created
in order to maintain humanity
in a manner we hated,
but afraid to change it,
but release the self.
let go of the ego,
become one’s true self
towards where the rest of us
should be waiting.
it’s just not as much fun
on one’s own.


in chicago back again: notion iv.

notion iv.

innocence and virtue become funny.
no place for such things in a fast paced world.
working for corporations now, sonny,
as one gets sucked into the system whole
then one day one goes out just for a walk,
and along the way one forgets where too.
forget what to say, becomes hard to talk,
getting lost on the road on one’s way through.
this type of world does anything matter?
when everyone’s just a fly on the wall,
waiting for the chance to really matter
as if waiting for fall to change to spring.

let’s begin chanting secrets into space,
and learn to accept what’s behind one’s face.