xupantlacayotl.

xupantlacayotl

(nahuatl for something that is created or born during the summer)

we are the sun that no one sees
except for all the clouds that set a shade,
so slide down,
        and let the past slip
               away.
there’s no point in holding it all in;
it only creates knots
that start to choke
        your thoughts,
and you start to feel like such a ghost
when all you have are your thoughts and all the words
that float inside your head
‘cause when you stop living,
and start wishing you were dead,
and that the whole world
        would just stop,
well that’s the time
not to forget
that you’ve got friends,
and someone somewhere cares
even if you are unaware
that someone somewhere cares.

we lay behind the sun that no one sees,
and after all the sun is just a star;
is just a star,
and stars go bang,
and stars go bang
into supernova.

and just ‘cause something ends,
doesn’t mean you give up.
it’s all just another chance to start it
all over again,
and jump into the deep end.
just close your eyes,
and hold your breath.
the pain doesn’t last.
it won’t always be so tough,
but it’s never easy,
just maybe easier
to get up each day,
to get up
each day,

and be ok
with who you are;
with who you’ve become.

you always tried so hard.

07.14 - 31.13.

don’t want to be a rapper.

don’t wanna be a rapper.

i’m a strange parable;
alien, descendent of allegory.
illegal contraband, inside my mother’s womb
when my parents crossed across
for me to go over these mental borders and hurdles.

“always running” past “the house on mango st.”
we are that “rose that grew from concrete.”
“holler if you hear me”-
“the pedagogy of the oppressed”;
“anarchist cookbook”;
and about a million and one manifestos and “fictions.”
“the teachings of don juan”;
and “thus spoke zarathustra”-
“the nausea of my metamorphosis.”
i am “the stranger.” i am “the stranger.”
“savage inequalities,” “savage detectives”-
“los de abajo,” and this is just
“life and death on the south side of chicago,”
and this is just
“life and death on the south side of chicago.”

yo, i don’t want to be a rapper like the ones on TV.
i want to be more like dickinson, well like emily,
have you go get my poetry from the library,
have you go get my poetry from the library.
‘cause i try so hard to just be ,
but i must admit it starts feeling so lonely.
‘cause i try so hard to just be ,
but i must admit it starts feeling so lonely.

read a book;
fuck a hook,
and be introspective.
i want to live
in a world
where people aren’t afraid to think.
fuck following a leader or the state.
this president has left us disappointed,
and most the populous- alienated and disenfranchised.
the manipulation of the working class poor
by segregating them,
imprisoning them
until finally silencing them,
and making them feel like aliens
on this planet. in this country,
there is no education,
simply indoctrination,
so pledge allegiance every morning,
and say your prayers in the evening;
and do it for god and country,
and not for liberty,
and not for democracy,
and especially not for the people
‘cause that would be so communist.
but i resist;
raise a fist,
and keep on fighting anyway.
‘cause i resist;
raise a fist,
and keep on fighting everyday.
‘cause i resist
raise a fist,
and keep on fighting anyway.
so i resist;
raise a fist,
and keep on fighting everyday.

06.19.13.
 

dada h!p5t3r ab5urd!5t 50ng v.2.0

in the pit.

dada h!p5t3r ab5urd!5t 50ng v.2.0.

who’s really hardcore?
what the heck’s hardcore?
man, i’m just a nerd.
i’m just a nerd,
and hardcore is for the birds
‘cause dada is so absurd
just like the dodo bird,
or so goes the herd or so i’ve heard,
but i’ve never had the pleasure.

and dada will take you
wherever you dream,
and dada will give you
whatever you need.

crawl to me with your little wings.
all of the magic that you bring;
all of this joy, which is so amazing,
takes over my everything.
i love being your dada,
and dada is so absurd,
and dada is such a nerd,
and there is so much that i’d like
for you to learn to share with you
about who i really am,
and how sometimes I felt like an alien,
so i called myself po’E.T.
‘cause i might never make
any money from my poetry,
which is completely ok with me.
i don’t mind remaining
an anonymous anomaly.

and dada will take you
wherever you dream,
and dada will give you
whatever you need.

you help me remember why the world once
        seemed so magical;
why i used to be excited by it all
before the loss of innocence and the fall
from childhood into accountable adults,
and you still have so much time to explore
        the world;
to explore your thoughts and your inner void,
and forgive me if i set expectations and limitations
upon your imagination.
forgive me if i set limits to your imagination.
i want your little wings to help you fly;
        take you away to all of the places
        your heart desires.
i know you came to set the world on fire.

and dada will take you
wherever you dream,
and dada will give you
whatever you need.

y tu eres movimiento y te tienes que mover.
y tu eres movimiento y te tienes que mover.
y tu eres movimiento y te tienes que mover.

05.29.13.

nada + nada pues 0.

nada + nada pues 0.

no somos nada.
lo vemos todo.
todo lo vemos,
y no hacemos nada.

no hacemos nada
por tanto miedo.
por tanto miedo
ya no hacemos nada.

y aquí nos quedamos,
después de tantos años,
en el mismo lugar
en cual empezamos,
pero aun peor porque ya estamos
mucho mas viejos que cuando empezamos.

y yo solo quiero ser alguien que pueda ser,
no tenga que esconder,
o fingir y tener que mentir
pa’ no ser juzgado por el otro.
porque además yo nunca jamás
pedí ser calificado por los demás.

yo solo quiero ser alguien que pueda ser,
yo solo quiero ser alguien que pueda ser,

ser mi mismo.

no somos nada.
lo vemos todo.
todo lo vemos,
y no hacemos nada.

no hacemos nada
por tanto miedo.
por tanto miedo
ya no hacemos nada.

no quiero mucho:
familia, amigos, y vivir tranquilo.
no quiero mucho;
un poco de espacio para descansar después
        de tanto trabajo.
no quiero mucho;
no quiero perder mi familia, amigos, y vida
        tranquila por tanto trabajo.
yo quiero al mar. quiero escuchar como
        canto yo;
quiero a la luna y quiero al sol;
quiero a las cosas que no entiendo yo.
quiero a lo raro,
a lo extraño; a los que nunca
cabrán en un solo lugar;
a lo que no se puede describir
        o explicar
porque se tiene que vivir.
porque se tiene que vivir
para entender y sentir.
para entender y sentir,
para entender y sentir.

no somos nada.
lo vemos todo.
todo lo vemos,
y no hacemos nada.

no hacemos nada
por tanto miedo.
por tanto miedo
ya no hacemos nada.

05.22.13.

cause what the fuck is going on, and how do i explain it in a song?

cause what the fuck is going on,
and how do i explain it in
a song?

i don’t promote conspiracy theories,
but it’s hard imagining
that this is all mere coincidence-
an unfortunate accident
or even intelligent design.

how scientists explain the mind,
and how we’ve understood space and time,
i am of those folks that will never march in line.
some of us gotta move our feet to the beat
        of our own
heart/imagination.

i was once a child, and they tried to
                      take mine;
erase or fade any memory
of the innocence of childhood-
the loss of memory and the loss of innocence
                      of childhood.

i don’t promote conspiracy theories,
but it’s hard to comprehend how this is happening.

this is not my country.
this is not my nation.
this is just how we promote isolation.

and this is where we’re from,
and this is where we’re from,
and this is where you’re from.
this is where i’m from.

i am just the saddest song
sung to the happiest melody.
irony? sarcasm?

“i am just that song that don’t know it don’t belong.”

and this is where…

does the future ever make you feel trapped?

05.22.13.

(quién) soy yo (quién) yo soy.

(quien) soy yo (quien) yo soy.

esta es una conversación existencialista
que no todos podrán entender,
pero a los que si, ojala,
nos salgan alas pa’ aprender a volar.

***

¿quién soy yo? pienso yo.

¿soy la luna o el sol?
¿una estrella o explorador?
¿la presa o el predador?
¿el esclavo o conquistador?
¿la rama de una flor
o este poquito de oxigeno
que ya se nos acabo?
como la arena pasa dentro de un reloj,
yo soy la historia que ya se olvido;
mas bien la que nunca se contó.

y esto de existir no lo es para todos.
¿quién so yo? piense yo.
¿seré el mar u otro granito de arena?
¿quién so yo? piense yo.
¿soy la sombra de un gigante
o la obscuridad que causa terror?

pienso yo, soy un poeta con palabras
contra el estado pa’ causarle terror.
soy el hijo de inmigrantes que nunca se asimilo.
soy una tortuga pero en la cuidad
ando con mascara como el mapache,
como los zapatistas en chiapas.
esta vida no es para siempre,
y hay que subir muchas montañas
para llegar al otro lado,
y encontrarse con si mismo
dentro de un gran vació.
encontrarse con la posibilidad que tal vez no haya nada,
y aceptar que merecemos amor y felicidad.

¿quién so yo? piense yo, y sonrió.
porque pienso yo que mejor no pienso tanto.

05.15.13.

untitled.

untitled.

this one’s for the parasites
living inside my brain.
all of those negative thoughts
that got me here enslaved.
all of those thoughts
that simply just won’t go away.
all of those thoughts
that make a hermit want a cave.

04.03.13.

san francisco.

san francisco.

you’re a lonely bird,
and i’m a lonely bird.
yo’ we’re all just such lonely birds,
so why don’t we all just flock together
(like birds of the same feather),
and withstand this weather.
let’s travel south and
then maybe west.
let’s go insane,
and give each other new names.
let’s baptize ourselves under flames,
and emerge from the ashes
as two phoenixes.
(let’s go crazy like joaquin phoenix is.)
‘cause you’re a lonely bird,
and i’m a lonely bird,
so why don’t we just flock together.
(baby, why don’t we just fuck together.)
sorry, but it’s hard
to stay so damn positive ,
trying to repel all this negative
energy some folks project,
but we try
to forgive not forget,
and to grow from what we learn;
get beyond our dark thoughts.
break on through like jim morrison
      and william blake.
love at all costs and whatever it takes.
let’s fly south,
then out west;
maybe stop at san francisco.
it’s been so long since i’ve been.

03.13.13.

entre sombras.

entre sombras.

i.
dejate cuento de todo lo precioso
que es el universo
detras de todo ese espacio.
y es que nosotros los humanos
mantenemos muy bien guardados
todos nuestros pecados y secretos;
deben ser olvidados y escondidos,
y es mejor decir que nunca nada ha pasado
a tener que confrontarlos.

ii.
soy la noche y el dia,
el mil y un de tonterias
que me invento al hablar,
sin motivo ni razón,
sin ninguna explicación.

02.27.13.

right before the robots (nuclear take over).

right before the robots (nuclear take over).

yo, i just want to write a funny song,
not so much comical, but one
that’ll bring a smile to someone’s face;
a song to remind us life’s worthwhile.
and i’m not trying to stand on no
        pedestal or some soapbox
because i completely understand we walk
        on the shoulders of great humans.
and really, we are such a tiny speck
        when we consider a human as an
        individual.

because there’s something magical in unity,
but there’s something just as beautiful in being unique.
there’s something magical in unity,
but there’s something just as beautiful in being unique.

just a tiny speck of dust;
grain of sand
passing through this vast universe,
but should i feel anymore
or any less insignificant
than an ant sliding through sand
like grains through the fingers of
my hand.
perhaps, i better sit and meditate
        on that one, huh?

because it’s all about what works best for you.
catch your own wave.
find your own beat,
and jump in when you’re ready
on this universal ride/jam.
because it’s all about what works best for you.
catch your own wave.
find your own beat,
and jump in when you’re ready
on this universal ride/jam.

because there’s something magical in unity,
but there’s something just as beautiful in being unique.
there’s something magical in unity,
but there’s something just as beautiful in being unique.
there’s something magical in unity,
but there’s something just as beautiful in being unique.

until we understand the earth is a
living organism,
not like you or me,
but alive.

02.20.13.