hear your voice.

i hear your voice,
and i think you are calling me.
from a distance the shadows still stumble,
out in the streets,
they keep looking for lost lovers.

baby, baby,
i will hold you close.
baby, baby
these ancient ghosts won’t haunt us
any longer.
the farther we float from humanity
the freer we feel-
go figure. go figure-
the mathematics of a dream deferred,
and what happens to those
who stop believing that magic is real
and anything can happen.
i hate being the one
to have to tell
that one day you’ll have to grow up,
and act your age,
and act your age,
and act your age.
whatever that means.
whatever that means.

i hear your voice,
and i think you are calling me,
but i can’t make out what you’re saying,
and i hope it’s not too late.
just hold out till i reach you.

we live in a city that’s quickly forgetting
just who we were.
who’s walked the ground where you now stand,
and who came before-
those kinds of things matter
even if you can’t accept it,
even if it hurts to face it.
you’re going to have to
make peace with your past.
you can’t go on ignoring it.
i wish i could water it down,
help it hurt less,
but we all feel guilty for a reason
because we know
we could do so much better,
but just don’t.
is it just laziness
or something much more sinister?
because there’s so much we could be,
from potential to kinetic-
there is so much energy and love
in our hearts,
but we just don’t always act upon it.

i hear your voice,
and i think you are calling me,
talking about all the things
i’m always wondering myself
when conversing with the universe.

05.01.16.

not 2 late 4 evolution.

had such high hopes
for achieving greatness,
but life happened,
and some hands were dealt.
some chances were taken.
some opportunities floundered.
some were wasted.
sometimes you killed it and ‘slayed’ them with personality.
sometimes you were just a few seconds late,
or too ahead of the curve.
sometimes you didn’t have a chance.
you kept going though,
and were resilient
even when you felt like sisyphus.
even when you knew there was no other way,
even when the possibility for failure was greater
than the possibility for success,
you have persisted.
you are the result of generations of evolution.
in your dna, all of humanities’ successes and failures
towards survival are inscribed and engraved-
do not wear that lightly.
you are the result of someone else’s survival.
we are a species that just won’t quit.
no matter how bad the planet tries to exterminate us
because perhaps mother earth needs us as well
to keep track and memory of its purple majesties.

but let us not get too cocky
for fear of becoming cock-eyed.
let us instead
become warriors united instead of tribes divided.
let us become learners of life,
explorers of hope,
and discoverers of patience.
let us pay close attention
to the earth, and those without a voice
for they have much to say.

had such high hopes,
but it is not too late,
but we must hurry.
for as we speak or as you read,
there are those who have already give up hope,
and thus gone over to the dark side.
thus the reason for all
the zombie and post apocalyptic shows on tv.

everyone’s getting ready for tomorrow to never come
instead of building a today that will bring a brighter tomorrow.
it’s like they ain’t “realize, that everyone you’ve ever known
will one day…
and instead of…”

had such high hopes,
but it is not too late,
but we must hurry.

04.23.16.

my friends and dreams.

talked to my friends about a dream i was starting to have,
and i could have sworn they had all been there.

as i was telling and describing,
i got the strangest feeling
that i had shared this anecdote before,
but everyone was too polite to say anything.

i felt my words bounce off them,
and crash against the padded glass walls inside my room.

that was the first time that
i had finally understood
my actual, current situation,
and why it was that it had always seemed
like i could never leave,
but everyone else entered and exited at will.

it was madness.
i told myself to relax.
i told myself to calm down.
breathe. just breathe, i kept saying, almost as if chanting,
calling incantations in case i forgot to
breathe.

i started pacing back and forth,
or maybe i was going in circles.
i needed to crouch back under my covers,
and roll up into a ball.
if only i record return to the womb,
to the fetal stage,
the “pro-lifers” would save me.

where was i?
better yet, what was i?
what was this form of consciousness i was experiencing?
i knew that i was me,
but the me that i was wasn’t the me i was supposed to be.
of that much, i was sure.

i waited patiently like i was taught
for something to happen,
for something to happen,
but nothing happened.

it was madness.
i told myself to relax.
i told myself to calm down.
breathe. just breathe, i kept saying, almost as if chanting,
calling incantations in case i forgot to
breathe.

i’d have to be the catalyst.
the change i wanted to see-
it was a beautiful dream.

it was a beautiful dream,
and you were all there,
and we all understood why we were there,
and there was no need for questions
because we all just knew.

it was a beautiful dream.
walk slowly with us,
and please be patient,
everyone sees the light eventually.

04.22.16.

only we can save ourselves.

felt like i was living
like a modern day hermit
in an urban metropolis
surrounded by millions,
but never interacting with no one.

a bunch of strangers surround everyone.
we need more guns. need more guns.

riding the train,
and a bunch of bodies rest
and crash against
from all the people,
from all the movement,
but no one is saying a word.
everyone’s eyes used to be staring
out window, at the ceiling, or towards the floor,
but now everyone’s always staring
down at their phone.

a bunch of strangers surround everyone.
we need more guns. need more guns.

do you really know who your neighbor is?
are you ready for nuclear holocaust?
a zombie apocalypse?
global meltdown and climate refugees?
are you ready for the end of the world?
do you really know who your neighbors are?

a bunch of strangers surround everyone.
we need more guns. need more guns,
more policing in the streets and a stronger military,
we need more bombs.
forget civil liberties and freedom
as long as the terrorists don’t win.

only we can save ourselves.
stop being so afraid,
i promise i won’t bite.

felt like i was living
like a modern day hermit
in an urban metropolis
surrounded by millions,
but never interacting with no one
because some days,
i just can’t.

04.21.16.

the universe imagined (or how we put it back together).

they were never going to let us be.

we had to find ways to liberate ourselves.
we belonged much farther than they were willing to let us be,
so we ran down the sunset
to see if we could change the way things went,
the way things were.

seems so absurd now
to think that we even thought-
it at all possible
that all was possible,
but we had to find out for ourselves.

they were never going to let us try,
and they wanted to cut our wings before we even tried
to fly,
so we ran
as fast as we could
without looking back,
and believe me when i tell you,
we never wanted to let you all go,
but they were never going to let us be.
those ghosts and shadows would have kept haunting us,
and all our ancient collective fears reappearing
because you all were too much of a reminder
of who we were and how we were
when they were around.

we needed to start over and reimagine ourselves
in a whole new different world
where it would be possible
to just belong,
and have that be good enough
to just be
without too much thinking
about everything-
even things like how we’re breathing.

we just wanted to be
without all the guilt and fear
we’d been conditioned with,
so i’m sorry if you felt we let you go.
believe me when i tell you,
we would’ve loved to have taken you with us,
but you just weren’t ready.

now we see you see,
but we also see
that it’s no longer us versus them
because we’re all in this together.

we’re all in this together and we are all alone,
and that’s exactly how the universe
needs it to be.

04.21.16.