notion 51.

i have a father
who dreamed
of being an engineer,
but left para el norte,
and let go of his
dreams.
(without sounding
egotistical),
he left for me.
he and my mother,
him and her.
loosened his dreams to float away,
let go of
life in his country.
and life in the city
was a life of society.
i hate what this country,
how this free america
has enslaved my father
to forget his dreams.
those i’ve not forgotten.
and how can it not hurt?
when he’s done it for me,
us, his children.
so i live in hopes
he remembers his dreams,
and his life never in vain
for he has been my guide
along the way.

07.25.2005.

notion 46.

my eyes
pulled out-
didn’t
want to
see an-
y more.

07.24.2005.

notion 47.

get gone-
we’re all
fine here.
sat on the corner
of 59th,
asking somebody
fo’ a lil bit o’ change
to do a lil bit o’ drinkin’.

07.24.2005.

notion 48.

reflectionlessness.

07.24.2005.

notion 44.

you should tell
the kids about
maintaining their
culture even if
you have to
learn the
language
like they have,
and its importance.

07.2005.

notion 42.

so islands, we have fallen into
till self deserts the selves
of all the things we are
till we just all become aliens.
but it’s ok.
i won’t burst your bubble.
and like balloons float,
it’s ok.
don’t be afraid
of what you really are.

07.22.2005.

notion 43.

delusions
raised up like walls,
and innocence
has lost its place,
and it’s started
to hurt to dream.
hard to take
things so seriously.
are people
ever going to
change?
and the world
we’ve dreamed of
might never become
if we don’t
have time enough
to speak
or love anybody.
slowly dying
and innocence
has lost its place.

07.22.2005.