purpose of meaning: wasted energy.

He wants to know. Carlos wants to know. He wants to know where reality waits. The essence of humanity, wants and desires. Wants to know if any of this around him is real. And he has a million questions to ask, some of which, he hasn’t put into words yet.
Wonders what humanity is aching for? Is waiting for to return to original being and simple existence? He starts to think that the world’s a ball of pain, spinning out of control. Wants the pain to stop and the nightmares to go away.

Wants to feel complete,

And safe,

And secure and pretty and in control with a plan and direction like all the other men on their way to work.

Wants better pay and health insurance, a dental plan, a plan for better living, and a better body. Wants anything that does not remind him of now. Wants at all costs to avoid the collision for which humanity’s heading for.

But at the end of the day, he’s just an animal that shits, eats, and wants.

He wants to change his name, really change people, and change the world. Save the world, really save people, and save himself. He wants an original idea; a sacred thought to keep to himself, a secret away from humanity to hold precious and dear.

Wants someone to tell him well done or say good job. Wants someone to look over his money. Wants someone to listen to all his stories. Wants his own priest and psychiatrist. Wants to see the world. Wants to fuck everyone. Wants to fuck everyone in the world. Just wants something that’s real and his.

Doesn’t want more war. Doesn’t want anything that’s anyone else’s. Doesn’t want to take anything from anyone. Doesn’t want to be a capitalist, imperialist, or social climber.

Just wants a little knowledge and a little truth.

Wants to be engulfed by energy while meditating on an Asian mountaintop or dancing to rain gods on pyramids in Mexico. Wants it all, but he can’t have it all. Starts to think; he just wants something he can never have. Wants the Earth to whisper in his ear while life breathes into him.

Doesn’t want to be so average and so mediocre anymore, so generic like all the other plastic selves.

Wants to know. Wants to know.

Wants to know everything, why energy moves and meanings of everything.

Wants to know. Wants to know.

And needs to know, this he keeps repeating, shaking in bed, staring at plastic neon stars on his bedroom ceiling that he once thought were so cool, but now only aid his insomnia.

But he’s not trying to bring the stars down from the skies.

Starts thinking, everyone wants something. Something from everyone and everything for themselves. No one will take anything from me. And all thoughts seem so circular.

Wants to sleep now and rest.

But the universe has a secret; a meaning for breathing, and he

Wants to know.

What it is? Where he can find it? When will it appear? And whom does he need to talk to?

At the end of the day, he’s just an animal that shits, eats, and wants.

24 thoughts on “purpose of meaning: wasted energy.

  1. Beautiful piece and overall character description. I read, hooked and chanting, trying to pull away from the page, but the connection was too strong, it was your words, giving life to most of what I was unable to mention. Purpose of meaning, yes, great job! Thanks for sharing.

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  2. your writing is compelling and very riveting. i think i have found a kin in your style, as influenced by the literary trope of e.e. cummings. thanks for liking my posts, too. i can’t wait to buy your poetry books and other stories. this particular piece, however, speaks so much about what i’m feeling right now. it’s all bewildering, this world, but with words like yours to illuminate the paths, it also becomes a rewarding place. bless.

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  3. Absolutely riveting.

    I think my favorite thing about your writing style is that you don’t shy away from using “swear words”, but you don’t make the mistake of using them gratuitously. They are exactly appropriate, and in the right amount.

    A lot of writers make the mistake of shoehorning strong language into their works, and it comes off disjointed and forced. But you use stronger language when you’re looking for the stronger meaning, and it’s obviously deliberate.

    Well done!

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  4. That was great. I don’t like a lot of poetry, but I could relate to the frustrations of this character. He is well written enough that I agree with Saintcharlotte, anyone reading it will understand where you are coming from. Thanks for sharing, and for following my blog.

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  5. aaahhhhh…. as with all humanity “wants” outweigh contentment… we are not a content nor thankful people… i am not.. probably never will be… there is always the ones who have the “better life” for another to desire ~ even though i am seen as one who has more than others (and i do) but at the same time i could relate to each and every line you have written here… what you say is universal my friend… it makes no difference the nationality, the color of skin, the gender, the religious beliefs, the position we may hold.. your words are true…… “Wants anything that does not remind him of now.”… are we not all brothers in this central theme you’ve presented here?… thank you for this… seriously, thank you

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