recorded on 04.15.11

yes, i’d like to be honest with everybody

about what it is i’m feeling, what i’m thinking,

and how i can’t escape that daily feeling

about how i must be doing everything fucking wrong.

and even trying to write a song,

inside my head, the words and concepts won’t get along,

so i’ll choose a new perspective from which to view

the world revolve, rotate around you

without feeling like we’ll never make it through.

so what exactly is it that i have to do?

what is it that i’m supposed to prove?

maybe perhaps i am always out of line

cause maybe perhaps i’m just out my mind,

and maybe, it’s just a disguise and i’m fine.

double personalities and the masks we’re all wearing,

when out in public, which you are you showing?

and when at work which you are you whoring?

and which you do you persecute when nothing goes your way?

so much more that there is left to say.

but even if i had forever, i’d still need at least another day

to go and wander off under the shade

where i can rest and dream of another way

to survive intact what we call modern day.

cause how can i know what i am anymore?

try so hard to find any type of meaning, out there in the void,

but it is so cold and i feel so old.

i try to walk down the streets smiling,

but it’s hard with all the gray clouds,

with all of the chaos, the noise, the sound

of hungry families and neighbors screaming,

and the worst part of it all

is that this is nothing new.

this has been for always just repeating.

the cycle just continues.

poverty and the inner city is old news

like white boys appropriating the blues,

and calling it rock n roll.

but every story is two fold,

so why my community gets labeled criminal.

feels so derogatory what the media is thinking

transmitting about people that come from places like me.

but even if i had forever, i’d still need at least another day

to go and wander off under the shade

where i can rest and dream of another way

to survive intact what we call modern day.

04.08.11