so i’ve placed my secrets
in a box.
became the turtle,
sank into my shell,
but fear won’t guide me,
so slow and steady,
i keep on spying on everything,
and studying
how human beings
live behind closed doors
so unhappy,
but oh well, i guess,
we should all just lie,
and pop a zoloft or two
until you forget
that you’re depressed
cause one’s not free.
for if one was,
there’d be no need
for doors or locks.
08.15.2005.
and what about your president
speaking spanish
to confuse us,
but even if i spoke
latin or greek,
what would the state
think of me?
when the problem is
how everyone looks at me.
i can’t be me,
then why would i want
to be a part of
what everyone calls
society?
i’d much rather get lost
in the jungle
or on the beach,
and continue my wandering
while wondering
how it all could
make sense,
but doesn’t.
08.15.2005.
daddy and mommy,
did you have any
idea
what this country
would try
to do to me
when you came
across illegally?
cause this country
engulfs and chokes,
trying to assimilate
everything.
but me.
but me.
08.15.2005.
i was made in guanatos,
and all those kids roaming
are all just like me,
and i am just like them.
there is no difference
between us and them.
08.15.2005.
and i am just
like all my students,
we get trained,
start thinking,
eventually,
we will fit in,
and accepted by
los gringos americanos,
but no matter
how many degrees
i acquire,
i’m still nobody.
they still see me
like another Mexican,
wetback,
who got lucky,
but i ain’t need
no affirmative action
or a bilingual education
to defend me.
don’t expect me
to forget my culture,
and my parents’ history
so easily.
08.15.2005.
i cannot join your church,
run and join the state,
pay my union dues,
but i don’t know
what i should do,
so i’ve traveled
to find myself again,
to find what i had lost
when my parents did depart
from our ancient homeland,
so i’ll apologize,
but i can’t join
in on the fun.
i’m still looking for me
whatever that may mean.
08.15.2005.
cause i am flying
on an airplane,
and when we land
who
will i be then?
cause i’ve been
having some ideas,
and i’ve been
doing some dreaming,
and there’s danger
in my thinking
cause i never know
what any of it means
just a constant rambling.
the brain goes
on and on,
and where exactly do i belong,
so i’ll float on.
08.15.2005.
i love you so much.
sometimes,
i like to meet new
people,
but then i always
run home
just to call you,
and when you’re miles away
all across on the other side
of the country,
i’ll still keep looking,
i’ll still keep waiting
because
i love you so much.
08.15.2005.
i’m a single lonely dot
on an insignificant map
that no one ever dares explore.
so what?
so what?
i’m as important as an ant
or my aunt
that just grows
old
and prays, waiting to die,
but i don’t
want to live a lie.
i could travel forever,
but would i ever
find
another family or
friends
will change
the world for better
or for worse
as a million
dots
reacting and interacting
like stars forming
constellations.
08.15.2005.
i should really
stop thinking
or worrying
about mediocrity.
i’m no superhero.
i’m just ordinary,
wandering and
wondering what’s
really happening.
i can’t put my finger on it,
but damn it, everything,
well it just passes.
why does it happen?
why does it happen?
we let it happen,
snd then start complaining.
so i blame me.
i blame me,
but i’m just ordinary.
i need hands.
i need arms,
so let’s join together.
we can try.
we should try
to make it better.
08.15.2005.
the rebel bandit.
the turtle.
the raccoon.
all are simple images
for me to understand
what’s going on,
at least that’s
what i tell myself
so i can sleep
because the world
is so depressed,
and i’d like to
shatter schema’s
on how one’s learned
to view the world
cause all i want
is to love and live,
love life,
live love,
and be able to sail free
without having to hide
my identity,
or what it is
i’m thinking.
08.15.2005.
UP!::urban po'E.Tree(s) 