nothing should matter, nothing should matter, nothing should matter. weeds grow, everything else deteriorates and decays. gonna die soon so then guess (guess what?) forget tomorrow. forget tomorrow. forget tomorrow and fuck tomorrow. and all children will arrive at same conclusion because if, because if tomorrow really mattered, then all one would be allowed to speak of would be love.
07.28.02.
engaging in conversation.
can we talk? can we? wondering the same question? keep thinking; people even talking to each other anymore, or just waiting for a turn to speak? no one listens. so is anyone engaging in conversation? are we just companions/ spectators for each others’ monologues? everyone as everyone else’s psychiatrist.
but what happens then to our sacred privacy? is anyone willing to risk their precious self? so i guess, yes, we can talk. but will we be listening to each other, or simply reply with preplanned conversation techniques learned to respond with, so as to seem interested or attentive in situations when one is not?
will we give a fuck about each other’s conversation? will we just bore ourselves?
humanity is mediocre and that’s it. so why not just get lost in mediocre conversation, and listen as well as mediocre selves can? listen our little mediocre hearts out. so yeah, we can talk. what you wanna talk about?
11.09.02.
just a standup comic
whose weaknesses mock poetry,
but some things you have to take seriously.
just a stand up comic,
whispering empty nothings into a larger void,
but some things,
not me,
some things you have to take seriously.
like nietzsche, dostoevsky, hell even freud,
you have to take that seriously?
socrates, aristotle, maybe jesus, aids or nuclear threats,
do we take those seriously?
just a stand up comic,
a clown,
not really funny.
sorry but joke
lacks punch lines.
am court’s jester
prepared for abuse,
awaiting jury of non-peers
to reach a verdict
because some things, not me,
whether anyone likes it or not, even though i’m
quite sorry to inform,
have to be taken seriously.
but then,
just maybe,
one day
i’ll grow to be old enough
and detached
to not have to care
or give a fuck.
cynicism and sarcasm no longer defenses but a way of travel
and plans for living.
07.26.02.
color stupid (out of lines).
“hello students, you have a new classmate. he is red.” teacher called me red, and i didn’t know why, but i should have realized it meant i would die. kids were all different. violet was mean and violent. yellow- shy. pink- sweet but silent. but no one got along because the teachers wouldn’t let us. teachers pointed out differences. and what the teachers taught us would only end up killing us. the kids made fun of everyone. yellow-green was a mutt, but didn’t understand what that meant. blue and green were always fighting, but didn’t understand why they fought. didn’t understand why no one got along. and in school--had a friend, they called him purple. and teacher said, we couldn’t play because we were different. teacher said colors weren’t supposed to mix. so when i got home, i ran inside, reached into my bookbag got an eraser and erased myself. and now i am invisible. and now i am invincible. and now i am invisible. and now i am invincible. and now i am invisible. and now i am invincible.1996.
poetic ethnography::rants
rants a mute laughter color stupid dead serious engaging in conversation forget the tomorrow la la la masturbating ego midnight dreams power lies seeing to stars wind blows away
why am i writing poetry? why is anyone writing poetry anymore? well that there’s a good question, isn’t it? why does anyone ever indulge in such a waste of time? merely to pass the time and indulge in self-indulgent feelings where one is continuously simply thinking about thinking. an exercise in mental masturbation.
poetry’s been reduced to plain pop and simple rap about bitches and ho’s or loves that just can’t be. or maybe you hate your parents? poetry and lyrics murdered by lip-synchers, dancers, and fake mc’s, or by some angst driven suburbanite that needs you to feel his pain, or the drunk little white boys that fantasize about being as cool as the rappers while playing their guitar and their three chords.
poetry murdered and retreated underground to slams and open mic’s. and what happened to the poets? very few practice the magic or the witchcraft anymore, and only those that write poetry go to listen and/or read poetry.
just trying to have a place to talk, have their voices heard, and
rant.
is poetry now just everyone’s inner noise and static? poetry’s been many things – sorcerers and spells, the tribe calling for rain, the church and ceremony, all calling higher powers and higher beings, prayer and
incantation.
poetry’s been a song and a political
chant.
so why am i writing poetry? and who the fuck cares? nobody cares.
the truth is sometimes i wonder if even i care, and not just about this here poetry, but about everything, and when you get down to it, i don’t think anyone really cares because when you get down to it, no one’s really committed themselves to this place here, earth, because everyone is well aware of the fact that one day they will die.
nobody cares and don’t confuse yourself by telling yourself that, “oh wait because i do care.” no you don’t. nobody cares. would you die for this earth or this life? no, why would you? maybe you would fight for your shit, but you wouldn’t die for it. why would you die for it? what would be the point then?
or maybe you’d like to think that you’d die for future generations, but that wouldn’t be dying for something, it’d be sacrificing yourself. oh, how noble of you; comparing yourself to a martyr, and you haven’t even died yet.
nobody cares and don’t get it twisted, ya heard. one day it will all make sense like a taoist dream or a yaqui exercise and you’ll experience
easy breathing.
but sometimes confusion leads to anger and one climbs mountaintops to yell like zarathustra; “fuck da police,” or “fuck you i won’t do what you tell me,” or “hasta la victoria” because everyone’s allowed to throw a
tantrum.
the world can eat you up, lead you into dark corners, and scare you into hiding. people can make you afraid. the whole world can be frightening because everything looks black with shades of gray. everything will seem so small like the walls caving in or too grand to grasp until you feel yourself under vertigo. chest beating hard and difficulties in breathing-
panic attack.
rants, chants, and incantations.
tantrums, panic attacks, and easy breathing.
why am i writing poetry? because i can’t sing or because i’m not a rapper. maybe, i just like e.e. cummings and typing way too much. maybe, i was bored. maybe, this is just what the fuck i wanted to do.
remember, the number sixan d the number 75 and that 75 plus six equals 81. because eight plus one is nine.
with all this having been said…
02.02.03.
chicago, short e.
fuck explanations.
just read; poetry bleeding from out of our
shared history;
from witchcraft and spells, to legends and songs,
recording history through poetry, poetic
ethnography;
from speaking to god, to just remembering,
playing innocently in the garden and
speaking to moths.
some write to write, write to share, write out of
necessity, write to find, or lose their mind.
enter the universe’s spine- easy breathing.
call out to the god’s- incantations.
world is just too small- panic attacks.
never get mine’s- tantrums.
sing along magic spells- chants.
just need to talk- rants.
fuck explanations.
no one reads poetry. no one reads anymore.
this isn’t for no one or anyone. just me for me.
fuck explanations and fuck you –
the reader.
12.02.02.
short e.
for life and hope, whichever is driving; and all that push things forward.
Below is a list of movies that have influenced my personal philosophy through the power of their story telling.
1. Fight Club 
“You’re not your job. You’re not how much money you have in the bank. You’re not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You’re not your fucking khakis. You’re the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world. ”
Based in the novel by Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club really spoke to how my friends and I were feeling at the time about the world.
2. The Matrix 
The Matrix offered us a glimpse into a future we are still becoming.
3. The Battleship Potemkin 
4. Trainspotting 
This movie got me excited about watching movies that came from other countries.
5. ∏ 
This black and white film by Darren Aronofsky about the insane world of mathematicians blew my away while introducing the world to this amazing director.
6. The Harder They Come 
This is one of the first movies about Jamaica by Jamaicans highlights the pitfalls of stardom.
7. Fast, Cheap and Out of Control 
8. Amores Perros 
9. Salt of the Earth 
Blacklisted for labor and immigrant issues.
10. Pulp Fiction 
And of course…
So before a lot of people start to assume that I listen only to hip hop and rap, or others that I’m an over-aged angry punk rocker, here’s a list of newer folk music I really enjoy. I think deep down when all is said and done, I am really just a big time hippie.
I don’t know what folk music really is, nor do I like putting music into genres, but this is just what I think of when I think of folk music, and I really like the fact that it seems to be coming back, at least commercially it is much more visible. There is no order to this (and that’s just the way I like it) list.
1. Bowerbirds 
I heard this band with my wife, then girlfriend, after one of her best friend’s weddings. They had planned for those that were still up for partying to accompany them to the show. We bought their album that night, and fell in love with this band. But besides the emotional connections to our memories, their music always makes me yearn for a good walk through a forest away from the city for a bit, which is probably intended since they have been known to write a few songs, and albums in fact, amongst nature’s wilderness. They also use an accordion, which is very cool when it is made to rock.
This guy’s music just blows me away, not because it’s so complicated, but because it seems so simple and effortless. It just seems like so much fun. It’s also very worldly, and if you read any information about him, you’ll understand why. He might be a bit theatrical for some, but I find it comically refreshing.
3. Beirut 
His electronic stuff might not be so folky, but his music displays the sounds of the world and of the past. He delves heavily into eastern European sounds, a bit of Paris mixed in, and has even recorded half an album with a Mexican folk band. I include him because he plays the ukulele.
4. Y La Bamba 
I must admit that this is a band that I have only found recently and am a bit disappointed with myself for not having found them earlier. Their name was something that kind of scared me away at first, but after watching a few videos on Youtube, I was impressed. Their from Portland, which, no way, really, but yeah, they are very cool. I just really liked all the harmonizing that this band has going on.
This band is a whole different animal if you will. The collective is really just four guys, that pretty much exchange leads on songs, and not always with all four members. Though they include a lot of electronics, I find their approach to be very folk, especially at how songs sound like jam sessions. As they’ve gotten bigger, their projects have gotten more ambitious, but their is still a lot of soul to their music. Avey Tare and Panda’s solo projects are also very good, and in my opinion much more focused than Merriweather Post Pavilion.
I will admit that the name was the first thing that made me want to check out this band. Let’s face it, it’s evocative. And sometimes, there music is as well, but for the most part their music is a lot of fun. There’s a lot of videos where you can check them out using a stand up bass and a washboard. They have a song about people that eat people being the luckiest people of all. Check them out if you have a sense of humor.
7. CocoRosie 
Two sisters. Something about Americans going to live in Paris, and making music. They use children’s toys as instruments, and often sing in child like tones, which are actually more haunting than soothing. This is hippie music for the ex-goth kid.
8. Kimya Dawson 
As half of The Moldy Peaches, Kimya Dawson demonstrated quite a sarcastic wit. With the soundtrack for Juno, she demonstrated a much softer and mature side, which is where she is usually at now as a solo artist. She also creates children’s music, which she performs where half of the show is meant for the kids, while the second half is aimed at their parents. I’ve also heard a few songs from a project she’s working on with Aesop Rock, which I have been eagerly anticipating.
9. MGMT 
These guys’ music makes me very happy. It is a bit commercial at times, and sometimes I do feel it’s more about aesthetics with them, but I must admit that they put on a good show.
10. Akron/Family 
Although since losing Ryan Vanderhoof the band does not sound completely the same in my opinion. They are still a very good band, which jams out like the best bands of the 60’s and 70’s. I guess I really like bands that have a lot of harmonizing.
Maybe the only thing these bands have in common is that they fill me with nostalgia.
UP!::urban po'E.Tree(s) 